a personal reflection on belonging, shame, and self-acceptance. It contains raw emotions and introspection that may be deeply relatable, but also heavy. Please read with care and an open heart.
I'd like to start by saying thank you. Thank you for pouring so much of yourself into this. It's one of the bravest things I've ever seen and I truly admire you for it. One of the people I look up to is Tyler, The Creator because of his ability to be himself so unapologetically. I'm always in awe of people like him. Being themselves seems like it's as easy as breathing. Like you, I spent all of my childhood and young adult life (I'm now 26) trying to shrink myself so as to blend in and be accepted. I have Muscular Dystrophy and I use a wheelchair so I've always felt the glare of others wherever I went. No matter how hard I tried I knew that I couldn't escape that glare. So I settled for "flying under the radar." A huge mistake. I now realize that if I'm myself, I can attract people's attention because of who I am and not because of my disability. It's so hard to unlearn the habits by which i used to shrink myself but like yourself, I've realized it's time to live life for myself, no one else. I see you and know that you're not alone in this journey.
That line you wrote about how you posting has helped others feel comfortable enough to feel their own emotions. I think that might be referencing me. I’m the one who made all those comments on your TikTok talking about how I was in a 3 month relationship like you and that seeing you sad has given me permission to mourn. With this, the devastation you have felt from your breakup, but also Brandon being made an outcast by his classmates at a young age, is incredibly relatable. Being made an outcast like him, what followed, and also the pain you felt after your breakup. That relatability is the destructive force. You wrote on TikTok that this will either heal or destroy you, and it’s certainly the latter. But nonetheless, all so beautifully written. You have talent, Sabrina. I hope you’re proud with the way you write. Because you should be. I don’t know how long you’ll be writing, but I am excited for whatever you come out with!
Thank u so much - it’s kind of sad people relate bc these r all sad experiences, but nonetheless im also glad i found an audience with people that are similar to me! Wishing u well from NYC!!
Hey Sabrina, just like you, I have always been someone who was incredibly sensitive and emotional from childhood even up until adulthood. I honestly respect you so much for allowing yourself to share your vulnerabilities, because like others have said, it’s brought me a lot of comfort knowing that someone kinda shares the same sentiment. My entire life, I had always felt ‘invisible’. I grew up reading romance novels and shows, earnestly waiting for the time I would finally be ‘picked’. But I was never asked out, noticed, really anything by other boys from childhood up until my early twenties. I’m currently healing from a recent breakup and while we only saw each other for 3 months and were officially together for 1, the breakup completely shattered my perception of love and I always felt like an alien for feeling pain this deep, despite the short length of the relationship. But you sharing your honest thoughts about the breakup made me feel like I could I accept that maybe it was okay I felt so deeply. I guess the amount of pain we feel is only a reflection of how deeply we love. It sucks and it’s so tough when I really fell for the idea of my ex. I love being a girlfriend, I love knowing I was ‘enough’ for someone to commit to me. I love being in love, but I was completely losing myself in that relationship. So when my ex broke up with me, I really felt the rug ripped out of me and here I am still trying to collect the pieces of my heart. Thank you so much for sharing your work and I hope you can continue to do so!
This made me extremely emotional, I really really relate to you as someone is highly sensitive and somehow always manages to get convinced that the world will accept them more if they conform to expectations (which also somehow ends in disappointment). I’m sorry that the world hasn’t been kind to you recently, but the decision to share this publicly is really brave and inspirational. I hope you know that your writing is influencing so many people and sending you lots of love & happiness <33
Sabrina!! This is awesome. As someone who is currently going through the same thing and went through the same thing. This is an awesome message! I had to screenshot parts of it as a reminder of choosing myself actively and building that relationship within myself. I hope to one day continuously and actively work through this and build myself back up again after all the shame, confusion, trauma, and heartbreaks that I had to go through to be where I am now. Thank you so much for writing this. I want to cry with everyone unapologetically!
It isn’t easy to share something, especially so raw and vulnerable online. For people to pick apart and dissect you, especially with the breakup and fallout of processing such emotions. Maybe it’s because I don’t know you personally beyond TikTok, so my first glimpse was on your TikTok series of going out to meet people to date, so I’ve always admired your honesty. How genuine and earnest you feel. So that even now, in what a ‘not so good’ healing era might be, it’s never really crossed my mind that feeling so strongly was ‘bad’. I always admired your honesty; honesty of wanting a boyfriend, honesty of being happy in a relationship, honesty of how it didn’t work out and how difficult it is to cope, honesty of how brutal internet and your own insecurities can be. Then again, I’m just a random person, and it means nothing in the grand scheme of everything and everyone, but thank you for sharing so honestly and helping others to feel seen. I think you’ve always shined so brilliantly, and whatever that is to come will be felt just as strongly and positively.
I'd like to start by saying thank you. Thank you for pouring so much of yourself into this. It's one of the bravest things I've ever seen and I truly admire you for it. One of the people I look up to is Tyler, The Creator because of his ability to be himself so unapologetically. I'm always in awe of people like him. Being themselves seems like it's as easy as breathing. Like you, I spent all of my childhood and young adult life (I'm now 26) trying to shrink myself so as to blend in and be accepted. I have Muscular Dystrophy and I use a wheelchair so I've always felt the glare of others wherever I went. No matter how hard I tried I knew that I couldn't escape that glare. So I settled for "flying under the radar." A huge mistake. I now realize that if I'm myself, I can attract people's attention because of who I am and not because of my disability. It's so hard to unlearn the habits by which i used to shrink myself but like yourself, I've realized it's time to live life for myself, no one else. I see you and know that you're not alone in this journey.
That line you wrote about how you posting has helped others feel comfortable enough to feel their own emotions. I think that might be referencing me. I’m the one who made all those comments on your TikTok talking about how I was in a 3 month relationship like you and that seeing you sad has given me permission to mourn. With this, the devastation you have felt from your breakup, but also Brandon being made an outcast by his classmates at a young age, is incredibly relatable. Being made an outcast like him, what followed, and also the pain you felt after your breakup. That relatability is the destructive force. You wrote on TikTok that this will either heal or destroy you, and it’s certainly the latter. But nonetheless, all so beautifully written. You have talent, Sabrina. I hope you’re proud with the way you write. Because you should be. I don’t know how long you’ll be writing, but I am excited for whatever you come out with!
Thank u so much - it’s kind of sad people relate bc these r all sad experiences, but nonetheless im also glad i found an audience with people that are similar to me! Wishing u well from NYC!!
Hey Sabrina, just like you, I have always been someone who was incredibly sensitive and emotional from childhood even up until adulthood. I honestly respect you so much for allowing yourself to share your vulnerabilities, because like others have said, it’s brought me a lot of comfort knowing that someone kinda shares the same sentiment. My entire life, I had always felt ‘invisible’. I grew up reading romance novels and shows, earnestly waiting for the time I would finally be ‘picked’. But I was never asked out, noticed, really anything by other boys from childhood up until my early twenties. I’m currently healing from a recent breakup and while we only saw each other for 3 months and were officially together for 1, the breakup completely shattered my perception of love and I always felt like an alien for feeling pain this deep, despite the short length of the relationship. But you sharing your honest thoughts about the breakup made me feel like I could I accept that maybe it was okay I felt so deeply. I guess the amount of pain we feel is only a reflection of how deeply we love. It sucks and it’s so tough when I really fell for the idea of my ex. I love being a girlfriend, I love knowing I was ‘enough’ for someone to commit to me. I love being in love, but I was completely losing myself in that relationship. So when my ex broke up with me, I really felt the rug ripped out of me and here I am still trying to collect the pieces of my heart. Thank you so much for sharing your work and I hope you can continue to do so!
From your maple syrup neighbour above :)
This made me extremely emotional, I really really relate to you as someone is highly sensitive and somehow always manages to get convinced that the world will accept them more if they conform to expectations (which also somehow ends in disappointment). I’m sorry that the world hasn’t been kind to you recently, but the decision to share this publicly is really brave and inspirational. I hope you know that your writing is influencing so many people and sending you lots of love & happiness <33
Sabrina!! This is awesome. As someone who is currently going through the same thing and went through the same thing. This is an awesome message! I had to screenshot parts of it as a reminder of choosing myself actively and building that relationship within myself. I hope to one day continuously and actively work through this and build myself back up again after all the shame, confusion, trauma, and heartbreaks that I had to go through to be where I am now. Thank you so much for writing this. I want to cry with everyone unapologetically!
It isn’t easy to share something, especially so raw and vulnerable online. For people to pick apart and dissect you, especially with the breakup and fallout of processing such emotions. Maybe it’s because I don’t know you personally beyond TikTok, so my first glimpse was on your TikTok series of going out to meet people to date, so I’ve always admired your honesty. How genuine and earnest you feel. So that even now, in what a ‘not so good’ healing era might be, it’s never really crossed my mind that feeling so strongly was ‘bad’. I always admired your honesty; honesty of wanting a boyfriend, honesty of being happy in a relationship, honesty of how it didn’t work out and how difficult it is to cope, honesty of how brutal internet and your own insecurities can be. Then again, I’m just a random person, and it means nothing in the grand scheme of everything and everyone, but thank you for sharing so honestly and helping others to feel seen. I think you’ve always shined so brilliantly, and whatever that is to come will be felt just as strongly and positively.